Sunday, June 19, 2011

Recovery is a daily battle!

hello :) ; 
school is finally out for the summmmerrr! Things have been going GREAT, and I can say that truthful and honest. I have the best of friends they have helped me through so much and I really appreciate all of it.
Hard work must pay off because i've been working so hard to get rid of this depression and guess what its gone.*knock on wood*! I have over come anorexia I totally kicked its ass. Just eating a little at a time and working your way up. I am me, and im proud of it. I believe that I'm NOT fat unlike what i was saying like a month ago, i haven't cut in two weeks. But the total number of cuts 26. Total number of weight loss 33. No I'm not proud of doing either of these things, especially the cutting! The anorexia was so tiring and a struggle each day to NOT eat so i gave up not eating and wanted to find my self again which i have and it feels really good to know who I am. I started to find new places for the cuts and then i realized i needed to stop not only was i effecting my health,but also making people scared.. never gonna happen again. I realize that all the time wasted on these thoughts and etc were definitely NOT worth my time. although my grades were up and down because of this im just glad i passed everything. You can do whatever you set your mind to i know that sounds like a cliche but it is definitely the straight out truth.put the past behind you and you gotta move on even know that sounds extremely difficultt its not.
Know that you are loved and cared about even if you think you aren't.
P.S- prove to YOURSELF you CANN do it:)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

To wirte love on her arms

Hello there;
Haven't blogged in like 2 months. Well where to start. I cut 19 times in total. Lost 30+ pounds and not the healthy way either. I appreciate my friends they have helped me with soo much & also are my life support.I've learned somethings the last two months, that i want you to take from reading this blog even if you arent going its good to know why people cut etc. My parents noticed I was cutting when I reached to open the fridge door and asked what it was, I told them it happened at boces,which is where you can go to get a "head start" on the career you want to do and get the basic info and techniques, anyways they asked me every once in a while and i said the same thing every time i decided i need to get help, only because of my friend NATASHA.  People need to learn that people dont cut because they want to kill them selfs but accidents do happen, but they do it because they need some sort of release and don't know how else to deal with it so they turn to cutting, and its like a "vicious cycle" you feel great for a mintue then after you feel soo low. The dangers in cutting are obvious,such as losing too much blood or even just getting an infection. But there is also an emotional risk behind it. Some people say that cutting is "addicting". The bodies endorphins are raging when you cut. There are out lets instead of cutting. Such as snapping your self with a rubber band, panting, working out, writing, drawing anything to get your mind off it. This is my outlet, whenever i feel like i want to i just write a blog but haven't had time in the last few months.

People may cut themselves on their wrists, arms, legs, or bellies. Some people self-injure by burning their skin with the end of a cigarette or lighted match.
When cuts or burns heal, they often leave scars or marks. People who injure themselves usually hide the cuts and marks and sometimes no one else knows.

Anorexia- is a SERIOUS eating disorder which can cause you to lose weight fast, with self starvation or  being malnourished. 
If you think you may have this go see a doctor or tell someone right away. Do you really want to become sick and be in a hospital almost dead. THINK about the people who care about you, think how they feel. The doctors will be feeding you through a tube or you will be in the city morgue. 

YOU NEED TO TAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THIS IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS ANY OF THESE TELL A TEACHER OR COUNSELOR ASAP. Suicide is not the answer to your problem you can get help. dont run away from them you have the whole rest of your life to live dont miss out on seeing the world or whatever your plans are.

Stay strong!!!!!

-Kate P-