Thursday, April 28, 2011

Running,running and more running

 I haven't been eat a lot lately... maybe 1000 calories or less.. & when I gain weight i eat even less even if its just a pound. After i eat i always feel guilty that i ate this probably isn't good..I've been working out hard core to the point where I'm dripping with sweat.. & that's all i ever want to do. Things at home are alright i guess.. except we just got flooded.. There was probably 2 feet of water outside of my house & in our basement! i really want to cut but im trying soo hard not to.
Good things;
When I was going to take pills I didnt take them i threw them away because I said to my self  "This isn't worth it you're throwing your life away" so instead of throwing my life away i threw the pills away.

Haven't cut or anything in 3 weeks - a month not quite sure.
 WENT ON A DATE! :) It was so much fun. The most I've had in  a while. We saw a 3D movie my first "real 3D" movie, was pretty awesome & went to the mall :)
That's about it for the good

Bad Things;

Feeling guilty about eating
Wanting / thinking about cutting & suicide. 
Pushing a few people away.
Doing more than 6 pills at once (before i threw away)
Wanting to give up, but know I can't do that to people

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