Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Old habits go away.

Hi There;
I'm starting to fall back into my old habits with the cutting, pills, not eating... Ive lost 3 more pounds so I've lost 23 pounds overall.. :-/. Yeah it feels good but when i want to eat something my stomach flips up side down & i want to throw up. When people pick on me or call me stupid it just makes the situation worse...Counseling couldn't come any faster... I feel guilty that I don't tell my parents that I'm dating this kid but on the other hand i know if i do tell them they wont respect him because they don't like him i guess. i know they are just looking out for me but... I got to make mistakes on my own with out mommy & daddy always being there to protect me because when i go off to college they aren't going to be there... But anyways I don't want to feel like the ugly duckling any more. Changing your thoughts from bad to good have to be easier than this.. But it's not so easy for me three years of thinking this way might just take a while to shake off.. If something doesn't change i don't know what the serveries are going to be the next time I do something.. cutting too deep, too many pills... If i wasn't for my friend NATASHA I would have probably went farther soooo Thank you for that...

But that's all for noww..
-Kate P-

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